Diary Of An Emperor

Its a cold Christmas night, theres light snow-fall, everything except my apartment is lit-up nicely, this all truly looks beautiful or for some people with good eye for photography; it looks picturesque. The wind has picked up slightly, feels good to smoke a cigarette and drink some hot cocoa sitting on 25th floor balcony, thinking back to every moment of my 24 years of life; thinking hard to finalise a decision.

I once used to rattle proudly in front of my friends, family and even strangers; each and everything that I have done whether right or wrong, I do not regret. Well, once it was true and sounded brave and righteous to me.

I was never a genius but I can still say I was more than smart, being the eldest son in a middle-class family; Dad was in army and was a hard-working, well-respected man, he was a genius in History, Geography, Civics, Mom was even more of a scholar than him; getting double-PhD in Chemistry and being overall state-topper in Physics and Bio. I idealised them ever since I can remember, I wanted to gain same respect they get wherever they go. I also have a little brother; unfortunately he suffers from a chronically-fatal disease, fortunately he is alive and walking down the road to success.

As my parents were government-employed, Dad being in army was always moving from one dangerous place to another; and did not want the family to be always worried about their life, so me, my brother and Mom lived together; Dad always coming home for one and half a month every year. Mom was a Professor in government-run University-cum-school; because there were many such educational centers, we used to move every two years to a different location. Although, we were living a good life with good food a roof to stay under and safe life, because of constant moving as a young kid in the time when mobile phones and android or iOS were not a thing it was hard for me to make friends or even if somehow I managed to befriend someone, we usually moved to some new place in a month or few, in the beginning I used to think that my mother hated me or something and thats why she deliberately moved every time I befriended someone, but later I grew up from such childish thoughts and gradually started being alone, wherever we moved to, so I never knew what friends are and even though I became ook-smart, due to no social life I never became street-smart. Well, I at least travelled around 85% of my country and saw many reath-taking sceneries; as at that time the country was not that developed there was a lot of nature around, heck I am proud to say I have seen so much Flora & Fauna that most of the people younger than 20yrs nowadays may have only heard names of. I fell in love with nature, I fell in love with beautiful night sky, I fell in love with stars and lastly I fell in love with science.

I still remember that day vividly; Dad was on leave and as always he was playing football with me in a park, it was around 8 am in the morning, as we were playing he was subtly and genuinely giving me some life lessons or tips if you may. It was then that I told him full of determination that ”I have decided to become a scientist ”, even though I was child then, no more than 6 years old, those were heartfelt words, as I iterated earlier I was more than a smart kid and due to those reasons I jumped straight from 1st grade to 3rd grade, well also because the Principal and Class-teacher had personally requested that of my parents in the PTA. Although, it was mostly a proud feeling that welled-up in my heart after this decision, I also had a trace of fear; I used to get bullied a lot. It was in one of the literature(not English) classes, when our teacher was reading us a chapter on Madam Curie and he gave us many tad-bits about other scientist, it was Fascinating for me, all of it, so much so that when I came back home I read the chapter many times, I had even taken notes(a childs version), at night when it was time to sleep I asked my Mom about everything that I can think of regarding scientists; after all she was the know-it-all and my one of the first Idol, and ever since that day Madam Curie became my third idol for a long time to come. After listening to my full-of-determination afore-mentioned words my Dad had big smile on his face and he hugged me. lifted me up, and threw me up….and now I live on moon…lol sorry.

Well, its always good to know that whatever you are trying to achieve and working hard for, there is someone supporting you and cheering for you; especially when you are a lonely kid. I worked hard in my studies, so hard even, that I stopped any and every form of entertainment; for a year I was just eating, sleeping and studying, in the end Dad enrolled me in Taekwondo classes, so that I don stunt my growth, as there was close to zero physical activity from my side for a year. Fun fact, I received dark-blue belt in two years and even got Silver-medal in International Taekwondo tournament(children category) against a player from Bhutan, I didn neglect my studies either and topped every exam… also I got sexually-assaulted by a girl and her best friend(12th graders), and around that same time Mom got severely ill and was transferred to the capital of the country( only there the hospitals were competent enough to treat her), during that time the capital was having
iots of some kind and Dad deemed it unsafe for children, he brought us to his Elder brothers family and asked them if they can take us in for a few months; until my mothers surgery. On the other hand, the lady-of-that-house(my aunt) thought that we were there to ask for some Monterey help, so she instigated and asked her husband to kick us out of the house; in the middle of the night. My father was very angry and hurt due to this but he held himself up and took us to our mothers side of family(they live in a castle as a joint family), and they took us in generously and my two uncles(Moms two younger brother) even went back with Dad to the capital to look after her until she was discharged. Well, for me at least, it was the first time I have seen two sides of people but I was none the wiser to understand it.