My Yandere Harem Is a Nightmare
You\'re Not my Virgin Son!
”I get it. ” Kline laughed under his breath, ”Everyone thinks Im gay. That means, all the things Rebecca said… wait! ”
The hopeless virgins eyes lit up. Rebecca clearly said that she was interested in him!
That meant she wanted him to experience a woman and aggressively pursued it. As a result, if he played his cards right and told the truth… kinda… he could score big!
All he needed to do was survive the mob of now forty-one women naked around him, comfortable with his presence only because they thought he was gay.
”Am I one of you? ” Kline dry-swallowed nervously, ”I… how do I put this…. Give me a minute to find the words; Ive never thought about this. ”
The bathhouse hushed; each woman was waiting for his next words.
Please kill me. He groaned internally.
A video game interface abruptly popped up in front of his eyes.
[Request: Abstracted Suicide.
Illegal Operation: Request Denied.]
Klines eyes lit up when he saw the window. It was the same one from his memories!
New connections began forming on the spot, rebuilding the mystery that was his life.
I can remember why I have this, but… I can use thought commands. He thought pensively, How do I get out of this?
Would you like to use one of your three personal requests to get help with your situation?
Yes. Kline thought frantically, trying to get options immediately! Women were waiting on him!
What type of aid do you seek? The system has adjusted all grades to your current branch, life goal, and path.
1. Pretend to be gay to get closer to the women. (A+)
2. Run away without saying anything. (B-)
3. Tell the truth in the best way possible. (D-)
What type of **ed up back alley hellscape did I come from that made lying to get access to naked women the best option!? He cried.
The exasperated virgin didn know much, but he knew that was wrong. However! While his mind knew the right thing to do, he was already justifying the very, very, very wrong thing to do.
Telling the truth is the right option, but itll obviously kill me—the schizo-screen Im looking at says so. Kline nodded mentally, ”So thats a hard no.
That leaves the right thing to do—run away without saying anything.
I haven done anything wrong, and its not like I came here to peep on them. I just need to say sorry to Rebecca.
He listened to the womans footsteps walking back with a towel and imagined her bouncing jugs moving around. It made him drool.
Snap out of it! Kline thought, That leaves the wrong thing to do—pretending to be gay to get closer to the women. Its the wrong thing to do, but… it is the legendary thing to do!
Thats it! I know how to escape without speaking. So I might as well choose the wrong answer, just to see.
Option chosen: Pretend to be gay to get closer to the women. (A+)
Wise choice, user. While its truly despicable, youve chosen the hyper-rational option that will best lead you to the decadent harem lifestyle you seek.
Advice: Speak the following words and perform the actions.
Performance Notes: Remember to speak smoothly—pensively. Try to sound like an arrogant philosopher who can charm women.
You don have to worry about the presentation otherwise.
Klines expression became lifeless after reading that the despicable choice helped him achieve his depraved lifestyle. Im the worst.
While he said that, he felt strangely drawn to the surprisingly good response he got. After all, it required acting, which he did best!
”While we connect on a level of sexual interest, we
e not the same because you
e interested in my sex. ” He explained smoothly, letting his eyes drift.
”That dynamic is fine if we have a sleepover, but its nuanced during bathing. For example— ”
Kline cringed internally but took the plunge with the [performance], which gave him explicit permission to do the thing he wanted to do most.
He stood up and moved around Bell, shocking her immensely.
Gasps exploded, and excited whispers rippled through the bathhouse as the nearest women looked at his greek statue-sculpted body and face.
However, one part of his body was very different, and the women could see a long shadow.
Rumors took root, and the man became a legend immediately.
”As you can see, your excitement about my body proves we
e not the same when we
e naked. ” He said, fighting his oppressive desire not to look at their bodies and pop a boner. ”I don particularly mind— ”
A wildly forceful elbow slammed into a pressure point on his side, making him gasp for breath as Bell walked in front of him. ”There you have it.
Klines towel is here; you can talk to him later today. ”
”Hey, he just said he didn mind! ”
”Let him finish! ”
”We saw you elbow him! ”
”So thats why I got advised to stop there. ” He wheezed breathlessly.
Multiple women turned to him, including Bell, trying to figure out what he had just said. He dry-swallowed and continued.
Is there a part two? Kline thought to himself.
The interface popped up again.
Advice: Speak the following words and perform the actions.
”Rebecca, love. ” Kline said with a hypnotic voice, ”Can you hand me the towel? Id like to wrap up before getting out. ”
White groans followed, but he did his best to ignore them as he grabbed the towel, wrapped it around his waist underwater, and stood on the seat to leave.
”It was nice to meet you ladies. ” He said, flashing a bright smile at the few women visible, ”Ill see you later today. Enjoy your baths. ”
A new interface popped up on its own.
Advice: Ignore everyone, do not respond, and do not look back.
An icy chill crawled down Klines spine when he saw a message that ominous! Why the hell would—
”Ill make sure that you get out alright. ” Bell announced.
”Im more than enough. ” Rebecca interjected dryly, ”Its my responsibility to complete the service request. ”
e emotionally abusive and you
e trying to jump his bones. ” The petite straight-haired brunette from the bath announced boldly, pointing to both, ”So Ill go. ”
Kline swallowed nervously, thankful the system warned him. He quickly disappeared into the fog and tried to creep away. ”Tried ” expresses what happened next but not the impact. For starters—
”Shhhh! Lets go to the other side and see if we can sneak a peak where the steams thin. ”
”Okay! Hes covered up now, and we didn even get to see him. ”
”I hope we can see that… boa behind the towel. ”
”Boa sounds creepy A.F., Lindsey. ”
”I concur, but when words fail to express, you must use analogies, and calling his package a man-eating [boa constrictor] is putting things nicely.
You might as well call the guy Vlad the Impaler, dear lord. ”
When a woman said that, the entire area turned into a stampede of naked women trying to get to the other side.
Kline felt like he was the last of the 300 Spartans facing off against the Persians at Thermopylae. He knew that hed get trampled soon!
However, the only thing on his mind was how much he hated steam. He used to love it, but now, listening to three dozen women splashing across the bath completely nude, he hated it.
The hatred was terminal. He was certain hed hate steam for life.
”Kline, where are you! ” Rebecca called out in the misty fog.
The hopeless virgin snapped back to attention and tried to slink away, following the systems instructions. Unfortunately, he moved too late.
Klines heart pulsed, beating rapidly when a hand materialized out of thin air and cupped his mouth shut. The other hands fingernails pressed his jugular vein, drawing a small bit of blood as his body pulled into the assailants breasts.
His eyes widened in panic. A woman was embracing him with her nude body! She was going through a significant amount of effort to act tough, too. How charming!
”Shhhh…. ” A familiar cute voice whispered in his ear, ”Just follow my instructions, and Ill keep these beasts away from you. Okay? So stop the gay act, avoid your childhood fling, and walk. ”
Klines virgin heart fluttered—a woman whispered in his ear! He immediately walked in her chosen direction in a tranquil state of bliss. When did his luck get so good? Wait! Hold up!
The voice didn belong to the reverse-cock-hawk of Swanson Spas, no! It belonged to a straight-haired brunette he had heard just a minute ago.
She sounded slightly familiar, but that wasn the point! She knew about his childhood!
Maybe Bell, the boner-bashing Betty, wasn his stalker hacker, and she was just naturally a dreadful Callous Karen in training!
Kline finally realized that any woman at the retreat could be his hacker, and the one trying to kidnap him currently jumped to first place!
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